Aligning

Long time since last..I’ve had to feel into what I really wanted to do with this blog or if I wanted to continue. Slow mover as I can be and feeling like: “you have to post more if you want to keep a blog”. But the words “have to” immediately makes all enjoyment vanish for me…So those words don’t apply here, I‘ve decidedJ
 I’m just going to make small changes to keep it joyful to myself and hopefully the few kindred spirits who might come across this blog. First of all, I will post more photos from my everyday life and also open up a little more of my unique, introspective, a bit quirky, pondering and dreamer-kind of self – show what interest exactly me and how I perceive and experience the world. Share a little about my personal healing-journey as well. Which I‘ve been on for several years and still am.
 
I remember how Elaine Aron, author of “the highly sensitive person”, suggests that a good way to approach us sensitive/introverted ones, is to ask: “so what are you preoccupied with at the moment?” instead of the usual “what are you doing at the moment?” – and I totally agree, since what I am physically “doing” is never as important to me as my current ponderings on (to me at least) interesting and profound subjects, mostly of a  philosophical, psychological or spiritual nature.
 
Some of my ponderings then later become creative projects such as poems, paintings or other artistic expressions. I love to “lose myself” in something; be engulfed by music or other art forms (or just by my own thoughts;)). I am definitely a so-called INFP-type according to Myer-Briggs personality-test!
 
 Another thing Elaine Aron mentions is how we sensitives are meant to live “A symbolic Life” – another notion I really resonate with; the older I get the more I realize how the inner and outer world are not separate realms, but very much interwoven. You can actually see it as a sort of mysterious conversation. Over the last 15 years, I’ve become increasingly able to view certain situations, issues or conflicts in my life as reflections of inner themes or beliefs, playing out in often symbolic or metaphorical ways. By now I can’t turn off this ability and desire to always dig a little deeper. I find it fascinating!
 
 These inherent traits haven’t been fully acknowledged until now: how important this is to me and how much it actually defines me as a person! But no wonder perhaps, since I honestly haven’t been very open about it: feeling like this crucial part of me was of lesser value, to no real use, escapism or worse; an embarrassing personal flaw. Which made it kind of impossible to share with the world – so I’ve been hiding it most of my life, which is the same as hiding my authentic self, really..a pretty lonely feeling.
 
 I still don’t know how to function properly in the world as a “normal”, down-to-earth, more practical person for longer timespans:) – not without feeling depleted slowly but surely, anyways. It’s like I NEED to be in a state of reverie or reflectiveness quite a lot. I can’t help it and have to acknowledge this by now; I guess it’s simply who I am!

 

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